Slowly but Surely, the Process Moves Forward

It's been a little while since I posted, so I think it's time to give an update on my progress, and the process I went through to get here.

2010 and Prior -Wrote the "Shitty First Draft" (SFD)
The SFD took me a long time, about two years.  Of course, I was/am a new writer, still figuring everything out (I'd only seriously been writing for about a year prior to starting 'Pack'.)  About six months (and 35,000 words) into the first version, I decided to rewrite everything.  The premise was the same, but the cast and initial setup was completely different.  The only character I kept was my protagonist, Laila.  Even then, I didn't really know what I was doing, and kept going back and changing things around, so I chalk up most of the two years to newbie mistakes and the learning curve.  The next one won't take nearly so long.  I hope.  :-)

January - SFD Complete
My first draft was not good.  The basic concept was written, the characters were more-or-less developed, and the overall content was laid out, but it wasn't anywhere close to being published.  Which was fine.  It's accepted wisdom that the first draft should be shitty.  The author needs to write the first draft as fast and as creatively as possible, without letting the internal critic slow the process down.  The critic is allowed out to play during the editing process, and that's when you start to have a publishable story.

February/March - Prepared for Beta Readers
This was the first round of edits, and to be fair, I really went through the manuscript two or three times before I sent it out to anyone to read in full.  (I'd asked for some feedback on certain sections, but ultimately I decided it wasn't worthwhile to share the novel in bits and pieces.)  Even after the edits, the manuscript wasn't perfect.  I knew it wasn't ready to go out into the world, but I wasn't able to see what needed to change.  Luckily, that's what beta readers are for.

April - Break month.
I sent the complete manuscript to several people to read and give me feedback (my beta readers).  These were people that I trusted to give honest, constructive criticism, and they did a great job for me.  They all found aspects of the story that they liked, as well as things that needed to be fixed or changed to improve the clarity and cohesiveness of the story.  In particular, I found out I'm not so good at the description.  Which is great (okay, not great that I suck at providing enough setting and description, but great that now I know I suck at it, so I can pay more attention to it in the future, and fix my problems).

Meanwhile I took a break from 'Pack'.  I worked on other things, most time-consuming of which was my day job (it was my busy season). But more importantly, I needed to put some distance between the manuscript and me.  In order to see the flaws, I had to be able to read with fresh eyes, and a new perspective.  I couldn't be so wrapped up in the story that I took all of the criticism personally.  

May - Paper Review
First, I read through an unedited version of the manuscript, making my own edits on paper.  I called this the Master Copy.  Then I read through each beta reader's comments on their version of the paper copy, adding the changes and comments I agreed with to the Master Copy.  Each beta got their own color of pen in the Master as well, so I could keep track of who said what.  Have I mentioned before that I'm a bit of a Type A nerd?  Anyway, I managed to get all of that done for all five copies of the manuscript, despite the fact that I was still swamped at work and busy with personal things on the weekends. 

June (forecasted) - Finish Major Rewrites
My goal this month is to finish incorporating the written edits into the digital file, so that I have a completed work of fiction by July 1.  I think it's doable, but I will have to knuckle down and work hard to get there.  I need to add a couple of scenes, revise the ending, and generally make a lot of changes.  But I really think it's coming along.  Once the major rewrites are done, I'm going to send it to a couple more people to read, to see if it's (finally) ready to go out the door.

In the end, this has been a long and involved process.  Now that I've gone through it (or will have gone through it soon) I'll do better on the next novel.  I now know where I tend to get stuck, and what steps I'll have to go through to get it all finished.  Plus, I'm a much better writer now than I was when I started, so the SFD should go faster next time.  

I want to emphasize, however, that the writing process takes as long as it needs to take.  I'm not going to rush through everything and send a piece of crap out into the world.  If I need to go through another round of edits on 'Pack' to make the story sparkle, I will.  Good things are worth waiting (and working) for.

Favorite lines from 'Pack'

I'm back at it, working on the revisions to Pack based on my beta reader feedback.  So far, I'm really pleased with what everyone has said, and while there's still a ton of work to do (it seems never-ending) I think I'm at least on the right track.

But today, I thought it would be fun to share a few of my favorite lines from the story.  Enjoy!

***

We kept up the pace for a couple hours, finally stopping for a break when my stomach growled so loudly that even Erik heard it.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"No, I think I'll wait to see if my stomach can eat my spine."

***

Teeth the size of paring knives glinted in a vicious snarl.

***

"No," I said firmly, trying to imagine the wolves were just misbehaving Labradors.

***

I watched as the first of the haggard looking buildings passed my window.  Faded and peeling red paint graced its walls, while slightly crooked steps led up to the sagging front porch.  The windows were clean though, and well-dressed mannequins advertised modern clothing inside.  The next building was equally dilapidated, and the sign over the door simply read Bar.

***

"How's the training going?" Sarah asked, as I gracelessly threw myself into a chair.

"I'm definitely going to be sore tomorrow, probably sore tonight, and maybe even sore before lunch is over," I replied.

***

Withdrawal

It has been just over one week since I sent out the Beta Manuscript.  I promised myself that I would not edit Pack while the beta readers are working.  To that end, I've given myself one month away.  Here's my reasoning:

1. Respect for the readers: if I'm fiddling with the manuscript, then they're not reading the latest version, and their time is wasted.  
2. Fresh eyes: giving myself some time away will let me go back and read with renewed vision.  I'll be able to see the typos and errors better, and gain a new perspective on the story.
3. Distance: when reader input comes back, I'll have a bit of distance from the project.  I won't be as wrapped up in crafting the story, so I'll be able to consider their feedback with an open mind, and not take things personally. 

Unfortunately, taking time off is proving a much more difficult task than anticipated.  I can't stop thinking about it!  Even though I'm not reading the words on the page, I'm still revising things in my head and second guessing certain decisions I made along the way. 

"Is that scene really necessary?  Maybe I should have taken it out before sending to the beta readers." 

OR 

"That transition was too fast, there wasn't enough time between action A and response B." 

I will not go back to edit.  I will not go back and revise. 

The thing is, I was really happy with it when I sent Pack off to be read.  I felt pretty good about it.  Is it perfect?  No, but I thought it was as close as I could get on my own without new insight.  I still think that's true.  Additional edits might have just been changes, and not necessarily for the better.  I need the time away and I need the feedback.  So I will wait, as frustrating as that may seem sometimes!

I'm trying to distract myself with other related projects.  I'm seriously researching the publishing options, reading blogs and books on all aspects of the subject.  I'm revising a short story set in the same world as Pack but 60 years prior.  I'm writing the content for my website and bugging my husband to help me design it.  I'm thinking about the next book and starting on a very rough outline.

All in all, this is still going to be a productive month, but I can't wait to hear what the readers think and get back to finishing Pack!

Quick Update

I apologize for missing my posting earlier this week.  Things have been a little crazy around here.  So I'm just going to give a quick update on where I'm at.

I finished a second (or is it third?) review of the manuscript, tightened up some plot points and rewrote the ending.  The ending still needs some work, but I'll get back to that.

I've decided I need to write-out a character from the original draft.  She felt like a 2D stereotype and didn't add much to the story.  In fact, she wasn't physically in most of the story, usually appearing only through phone conversations.  I figured out a way to replace her, so I'm going to do it.  But that means a lot of revision, and one more pass on the manuscript before Beta. 

The new ending also beefed up another character for me, and added a new dimension to the story that I have to scatter throughout the manuscript.  I think it will be much, much better this way.

All of these changes have really cut down the size of the manuscript.  I'm down to about 60,000 words, which is a little short for a novel.  If I continue to slice and dice, it could go even lower than that (and might be better for it).  I'm considering calling it a novella now instead of a novel.  There are issues with that, of course, including that novella's are often difficult to sell through Traditional Publishing, but I'm thinking I don't want to go that route...much to ponder before fully making that decision, but I'm thinking about it.

I should have a Beta Manuscript by the end of the weekend.  My Beta Readers are lined up and ready to go.  Then it will be a month-long "break" from the novella.  I have a couple of story ideas that I'm going to start working on during the "break" to see if anything sticks.  I also have a short that I want to clean up and post for free online.  And I'm going to put up my own website soon too, so you can look forward to that.

Well, so much for a "quick" update.  There really is a lot going on!

Beta Readers

I've mentioned this a few times over my last few posts, but my manuscript is nearly ready to be reviewed by beta readers.  If all continues on current trajectory, I will have a "beta-ready" draft by April 3rd.  As I prepare to send this to a few readers, I thought I'd explain the beta process in a little more detail, particularly with regard to my own ideas and expectations. 

Caveat: This is my first time sending a novel out for beta-review, so ideas and processes may change over time.  Not every writer approaches their review in the same way, and this might not even be the best way, but it makes sense to me right now. 

What is a beta reader?
A beta reader is someone who is willing to read a complete, but as-yet unpublished manuscript and provide feedback to the author (me).  Here's the Wikipedia definition.  The beta should provide constructive criticism -- honest, useful, and insightful feedback -- on the work in question. 

From my perspective (and I imagine every author would feel approximately the same), it's not useful to say that you don't like me or you hate the book.  I need to know why you hate the book.  I need to know if and where plot holes exist.  I need to know if you got bored, or where there's not enough description.  I also need to know what you liked, and if you were excited, engaged, or couldn't put it down. 

What I don't need is a line-by-line copy-edit (although if you happen to see something, especially if it seems to be a recurring problem, go ahead and let me know so I can fix it). 

What are the expectations?
I think this is probably different for every author, but I'm going to request the following of my beta readers...

1. Deadline:  
We all have time constraints and life issues, but once it's out there, I'm going to be sitting on the edge of my seat, biting my nails, tearing my hair out, to find out what you think.  So...I will give you a month to read it and send back your feedback.  I'm not going to do any work on the manuscript after I send it out, so this will also give me some time away from it to have a fresh perspective when I'm reading through the comments.

2. No Sharing:  
Do not share the novel with anyone else at this point.  Not your mom, not your best friend, not your next door neighbor.  It's a work in progress, and I know there will be additional revisions after I get everyone's feedback.  If you like the story, FANTASTIC!  Tell everyone how great it is and then tell them that some day, once it's finished and published, they'll be able to buy it.  You can even tell them the premise of the story and why you liked it.  But please do not share the actual novel until it's published.  If I find out you've passed it along to someone else, I will hunt you down and...no, okay, that's not true, but I'll be really upset.

3. Comments:
Along with the manuscript, I'm going to send out a simple editing guide to use while reading the novel.  Essentially, I would like the beta readers to mark up the margins with their comments, using a legend of sorts to organize their thoughts.  For example, if a passage is boring, I want you to put a big "B" in the margin and explain in a few words why you're bored.  Like, "B - too much walking through the woods."  Or if a section is really exciting, it might be "E - LOVE IT!".

4. Be critical, but don't be mean: 
'Nuff said.

What can beta readers expect in return?
My undying gratitude.  And maybe a case of beer or a bottle of wine, your choice.

Okay, but seriously, I am trying to turn this into a career, so I will do my best to act professionally in my response to comments.  I will endeavor to not take any feedback personally, and I will not argue with your impressions of the book.  In fact, unless there's a comment that I truly don't understand, I promise to not bother you about it at all, unless you bring it up in conversation or something, and even then I promise to not get upset. 

Well, I'll do my best. 

It's a hard thing, putting your work out there for other people to tear apart.  But I really do want the criticism, because I need to learn and improve my writing.  I don't want people to coddle me and tell me that "it's just so wonderful."  That's why moms are not going to be allowed to read it (sorry Moms - you'll get to read it when it's finished).  Of course, I don't want to be crying over the darn thing either.

For those of you who are my beta readers -- and you should know who you are, but if not, you'll find out soon -- this is your chance to bow out.  If you don't think you can make the timeline, or don't want to put up with my Type A personality BS, you don't have to be a reader for me.  I won't get mad.  Believe me, I realize that it's going to be a bit of work, and we all have jobs, hobbies, and other commitments.  I will 100% completely understand. 

Work Hard and Finish What You Start

About a week ago, maybe more, I had a conversation with a good friend about my book.  She's read a bit of it and helped me through some tough choices that I've had to make on the early rewrites.  We were talking about the amount of time I've spent working on the novel, and how I've learned so much from this process.  Given today's knowledge, if I could start all over, I would do things very differently, though I don't think I can face starting over completely on this story.

She had one comment that really struck me during this conversation, and has stayed with me ever since:

"Don't stay married to the novel, just to justify your efforts." 

On first glance, that might seem like a terrible thing to say, but it wasn't, and I didn't take it that way.  Rather, she was forcing me to consider why I'm writing, and what it is I'm trying to accomplish.  She was helping me assess the work in progress.

Now I'm going to say up front that I'm not going to set the novel aside until I have a completed manuscript.  I have to finish the story.  I tried to explain why during the conversation with my friend, but I don't think I was very eloquent about it. 

Luckily, there's someone else out there that's been in the business much longer and is better equipped to speak on the subject.

David Coe is starting a new series of posts on Magical Words called "Back to Basics".  Part 1: Be a Writer posted on Monday.  Of the many good pieces of advice in that post, there was one that particularly struck a chord, because of this past conversation. 

6. Keep Moving Forward:  Ask Faith, and she will tell you that you are not a writer until you finish something — a story, a novel, something.  And she’s right.  I know so many aspiring writers who reach that tough section in the writing process and either retreat into rewrites or give up and start something new.  Revisions are important; the new-shiny is a great part of writing.  But writers finish what they start, and you need to keep moving forward with your Work In Progress.  Writing isn’t easy; part of the process is fighting through the stubborn sections of a work, finding that solution to a nagging plot problem.  Keep moving forward.  Finish what you start.

This brilliantly explains why I can't just stop working.  I can't call myself a writer until I've finished an entire work.  I've written a few short stories, sure, but they were intended to be writing exercises, not serious projects.  The novel is my first attempt to create something that's worth publishing.  The act of "finishing" the project will prove that I can, in fact, write a novel.  If it's not good enough this time, maybe the next one will be, but I can do it. 

Far too many people decide that their goals are just too hard.  They don't want to put in the time, effort, energy, money, or make the sacrifices necessary to achieve their goals.  They're afraid of failure.  And maybe they're even afraid of success.  So they quit mid-stream and go back to something that, at least on the surface, seems easier.

Life takes work.  Dreams take work.  There's no fairy godmother that's going to wave her magic wand and poof, you're a princess.  It doesn't work that way.  You pick a path, choose your goal, start at the bottom and work your way to success.  I don't care if you want to be a farmer or an astronaut, a ballerina or a WWF wrestler, you have to work to your success.  What's that old adage?  Anything that's worth doing is difficult (or something like that).

I want to be a writer.  I've spent nearly two years working on this novel, but I'm not yet a writer.  I will finish the novel, and then, only then, can I call myself a writer. 

Ultimately, I want to be an author.  If this novel isn't good enough for publication, then I'll start on the next project.  I will finish that one.  I may have to go through the process two or three more times, but eventually I will be published and then, only then, can I call myself an author.

Today is March 1st

This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.  March 1 follows February 28.  Not a complex idea, unless it's leap year, and then March 1 follows February 29.  Luckily it's not leap year.  And yet, somehow, March has taken me by surprise.  There's a lot wrapped up in this month.

This is the last month of work before my self-imposed deadline to have a complete manuscript for beta readers.

I have 4 weekends of solid writing left before that deadline (5 if I cheat just a little) and one of them will be spent traveling.  With the exception of time on the plane, I probably won't get a whole lot accomplished over the weekend away.

There are four Fridays before it all hits the fan at the day-job: a major workload lands on my desk, my boss goes on paternity leave, and I'm managing a new staff person.  (This was a big part of why I set my manuscript deadline for the end of March; April will be stressful and I won't get much writing done).

March is a writing month.  I have to get it done, there's just no alternative.  The pressure is invigorating, as it forces me to pull my thoughts (and myself) together.  I'm looking forward to finishing the manuscript and finding out whether people like it, even though I guarantee the end result will be more work.  After all, what's the point of having beta readers, if not to incorporate their feedback?  But I'm hopeful that the last year and a half spent writing and re-writing this particular novel won't be left gathering dust on the virtual shelf.

Okay, that's enough musing on the date.  Time to get to work!

'Pack' Synopsis

Here it is, my first attempt at the back-cover description of 'Pack', by Megan P. Haskell.

Hiking the Colorado mountains is a passion Laila Anders shares with her twin brother, Erik.  During a regular weekend backpacking trip, Laila is attacked by rogue wolves looking for an easy meal.  She's rescued, only to be kidnapped by her savior, a man with a dark secret and more in common with her attackers than she could imagine.  While Laila grapples with a new reality and searches for an escape, Erik searches for the sister he knows is still alive.  What they discover will test the strength of their bond and their perceptions of the world around them.  

Please note that the novel is currently under revision and there are no plans to publish it yet, so don't ask when it's coming out.  Otherwise, feel free to post comments!

Hiatus is Over

Hello Again World!

I have been a bad, bad blogger.  I could give you a whole bunch of excuses, but really what it came down to is that I didn't want to write blog posts.  Things have settled down a bit now, and several people have asked what's going on, so I'm back to blogging and I'll try really hard not to leave you hanging again.

The Update:

Over the holidays, things got a little bit crazy.  I didn't have much time to write, but I did manage to create the preliminary ending to the novel.  I say "preliminary", because I'm not completely satisfied with the end, but it was good enough to let me go back and start the rewrites. Which I did. 

Over the last several weeks, I have been focusing hard on rewriting and polishing the "shitty first draft" that I threw down on the page.  For those of you who aren't writers, there's a common piece of advice that says you shouldn't worry about whether your first draft is any good.  That's what revisions are for.  Instead, you put your ideas down on the page and keep moving as fast as possible.  In my case, that wasn't very fast, but hey, working for a major accounting firm limits your free-time a bit!

So I'm now revising, editing, polishing and even getting a few reviews from people.  Overall, reactions have been good!  I think I've got a good start, and with some more time and a lot more work, I might actually have something publishable.  In fact, I had a wonderful opportunity to have my first three pages critiqued by Sara Megibow, an agent with the Nelson Literary Agency, and one of my top picks for potential representation.  She gave me some great feedback, which I will be incorporating into all of my edits as I continue forward.

I've set a goal for myself that I will have a finished draft, ready to send to agents, by the end of March.  That's two months from today, for those of you counting.  Which means that I'm going to become a social recluse over the next two months.  So if I don't post as frequently, don't go out as much, avoid your calls and emails...well, I guess you'll know why!

Trouble at the End

I have a problem.  I'm nearing the end of the first draft of my novel, but I'm not exactly sure how to end it. 

My story has become a trilogy in my head, which complicates my writing a bit.  I have an outline of the high points of each book, but I have to find the happy balance between keeping the first book as a stand-alone novel so that it will actually be publishable, and making sure that the second book is appropriately set up to continue the story without becoming boring filler as so many second-in-a-trilogy books tend to be.

So this brings up a good question: what makes a satisfying and complete ending?  When you, the author, know that there will be more than one book and know what's going to happen next, how do you keep the story self-contained, while still leaving the right number of loose-ends to bring people back for the next installment?

One of my first posts was about the book Ariel, by Steve Boyett.  I hated the ending of that novel.  Now, I don't know if he originally intended it to be a multi-book series (a sequel was published just last year, though the original was published in 1983), but regardless, the ending was dissatisfying and now I have no desire to read the sequel.  I want to avoid that if at all possible with my own readers.

I also recently read the first two books in a trilogy by Celine Kiernan, and I thought the ending of her first book was wonderful, but I'm pretty sure she sold the books as a trilogy, so the ending of the first book is left wide-open.  The heroine is literally walking down a road, beginning a new adventure as she searches for the truth.  Unfortunately, I can't really bank on the fact that I can sell all three of my books in one go.  From what I understand, as a debut author, it's often easier to sell the first one, see how it does, and then sell the remaining two books.  I need the ending of my first book to be a little more conclusive, a little more definite, with just a hint that there could be more to come, in case it ends up being the only one that gets published (sad, but possible).

There are people that will argue that writing is an art and I therefore shouldn't be concerned about the market or whether the books will be published.  They will say that I should focus on achieving my own vision, not appeasing "the man".  They're right to an extent.  I should be focusing on the story, and I should be working toward the vision in my head.  I need to make the book as good as it can be before I worry about the business end of things.  That's all true.  However, those of you who know me, know that I'm too darn practical for that.  I was a business major after all.

Writing is a business, whether you like it or not, and I want my books to be published.  Yes, I'm working hard to make my novel the best that it can be.  Yes, I am striving to achieve the vision in my head and tell a fantastic story.  But I want people, beyond my immediate friends and family, to have the opportunity to enjoy that story, and the only way to do that is to get it published.  I'm not cutting corners, I'm not pandering to the market, I'm simply trying to consider the business angle while I polish and progress.

Which brings me back to the original point: how am I supposed to end this thing?  I suppose I'll figure it out eventually.  I'm going to have to.  I just have to keep writing, polishing, and perfecting.  It'll get there.  I promise.  Seriously.

Exiting the Closet - or - I write what I read

I am a huge fan of fantasy, urban fantasy, contemporary fantasy, paranormal romance and science fiction. 

There.  I've said it.  I'm out of the closet and there's no going back now.  What freedom!  What sweet relief!

For some of you, this is no surprise, but others may be shocked to realize that looks can be deceiving.  I look nice, normal, sometimes professional, and (dare I say it) sophisticated on the outside, but in the privacy of my own Kindle, I disappear into stories of vampires, witches, werewolves, aliens, angels and demons.  I lose myself on foreign planets and alternate realities.  I love stories with sex and violence, blood, sweat and tears.  I am a secret goth.  I am a not so secret nerd.

They say you should write what you know.  Well, I'm writing what I read.  My current work in progress (WIP for those that like abbreviations) is the story of a woman forced to join the paranormal underworld of modern civilization or die in the process.  It's a story of change.  It's a story of betrayal.  It's a story of redemption and the bonds of family.

At least, that's what I'm aiming for. 

*******************
Major milestone in the word count: I've surpassed 30,000 words!!  One third-ish of the way done.  Man, I've got a lot more typing to do.

Current Word Count:  30,625